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F**k you, Giant Panda bear!

20 January 2009

Efforts to save species on the brink of extinction is a worthwhile cause – but that’s only if it really has a serious purpose other than saving a cute looking animal from being written with red ink on a piece of paper as “extinct”. The salvation of the panda bear DOES NOT fall in this category. If it was a critical link in the food chain of their native region, I would’ve agreed and it would’ve been more than obvious that its ass is worth rescuing. But what is about this f**king panda bear that gets the people all fired up and willing to painstakingly breed them in captivity?

First of all, chinese people are NOT attached to the panda bear, in any way. If you’ll go to China and ask a Chinese about that, he would look at you like “oh man, yet another panda-hugging-loving tourist”. The Panda bear means SHIT for the Chinese. It has no national value  in terms of symbols (of course, excepting the fact that it brings hefty sums from the foreign tourists that adore the plush-like creatures) unlike the symbol of the dragon, that has its roots in the Chinese culture for more than 2000 years. Heck, even the name “panda”  has no closely resembling word in any of the asian languages! It was probably made up by some 8 year old that had a toy bear named Panda and as he saw the black and white cute creature yelled : “Mommy, look, it’s just like my Panda!”, thus officially setting up the current appelative. It’s exactly like the Easter Bunny: just a cute and fuzzy thing that people enjoy watching. That doesn’t necessarily imply there ever was a gigantic bunny that delivered chocolate eggs, right?

Second of all: what harm may come to the limited environment in which the Giant Panda lives, if his species were suddenly to go KAPUT? What, is the bamboo going to spread and choke the other plants? It’s not the humans’ fault that they multiply their numbers so slowly. It’s EVOLUTION, people! Survival of the fittest, right? Had Darwin mentioned that only the cutest species are worth rescuing/surviving, or what? Were the Western Black rhinoceros not cute enough and the humans rightfully entitled to slaughter them to extinction? That’s the only truth behind the preservation of the Giant Panda’s species. Its INFECTIOUS CUTENESS. When one man sees the adorable face of that Panda, it cannot help but thinking such a creature is definitely worth protecting. Fuck that! It would be MUCH easier to just stop caring for the 300 or so Panda bears in captivity and let them be. For the irony in the humans’ efforts to save their species from extinction is nothing less than hilarious.

The captive Pandas CANNOT survive in the wilderness. Attempts were made, and the fluffy things got so dependent and attached to humans that they failed to live a normal life as any other wild beast. Kick-ass! So, all the Panda lovers struggled to breed them in confined spaces, only to end up with a different species, a Cage Panda bear sort of saying, that seems to like the four walls and the occasional walk in the enclosed park to breathe fresh air of captivity. Evolution 1 – Panda lovers 0. The preservation societies got “owned”, if I’m to use a gaming word. This will always happen when humans meddle in the affairs of creatures and ecosystems they literally have no clue about. One other such misfortune, but much, much worse, took place in the remote Macquarie island, where humans thought it was a GREAT idea to remove the cats from the island (cats which their predecessors brought with them, of course), as they threatened a native species of birds. Well, bad luck! Rabbits began to spread more, as any invasive species does, and the poor birds that now had their eggs not eaten by cats found themselves without any vegetation in which to hide, as rabbits eat it whole. Environment headshots the ecologists, once more.

This whole thing about wildlife conservation by captive breeding sounds like the AIDS issue. Instead of educating the people to stop FUCKING eachother like sex-driven fiends, the humanity struggles for a cure. Personally, I don’t enjoy thinking of a future when you can go to someone and say:

“- You know, I got AIDS.

– No biggie, relax. I got it too last week, but I got my shot and I’m as healthy as I was before.

– Ok, let’s do it then!”

Is humanity really good at curing only, instead of PREVENTING?

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